Food Porn
The brave soul who tries to un-tether herself from what she might suddenly and unexpectedly see as a ridiculous, pre programmed previous life of conformity with the norms of modern society, to try to live an increasingly unencumbered life (or indeed a decreasingly encumbered one); one that she enjoys and one in which she is learning and experiencing new things every day, might just find herself re-encumbered by a series of hurdles.
Happiness isn’t easily defined and she might still be susceptible to the same black holes, one assumes, that Churchill preferred to call the black dog. Hugh Falkus also referred to deep black holes that only hard physical effort could banish, but then these sturdy, stiff upper lip types have always embraced these as being a fount of creativity and when reading Masanobu Fukuoka’s book for the whateverth time I was reminded again of how much crap we get involved with in order to avoid living our lives the way we want to.
When describing a period marooned on a remote Irish island in his posthumously published “Some of it was fun” Falkus amusingly said; “In essence, of course, the whole of one’s life is simply a matter of filling in time between meals”.
Which brings me to an increasingly annoying phenomenon in the modern world and that is the almost fanatical pre-occupation with food in the western world.
For the media this has become what DBC Pierre calls “Food Pornography”. It’s getting to the ridiculous stage when you can’t go into a pub and immediately recognise a commonly served meal on the menu. OK you can get fish and chips but it will almost always be described in some pseudo porno, celebrity chef inspired way. The disappointment on many faces when they eventually receive their over-sold, over priced re-constituted frozen garbage is palpable.
Recently I ordered a starter in a pub that was called Stuffed Piedmont Peppers. The description made me dream of “very delicately flavoured, carefully selected from the best growers and then lightly roasted peppers, stuffed with a firm local goats cheese and balsamic drizzle”. What arrived was a barely cooked (actually still quite hard and cold) very ordinary looking “Tescoesque” red pepper filled with a fridge cold, solid lump of tasteless white cheese with a dressingless salad (again fridge cold) and a “drizzle” of something that resembled HP sauce and tasted of very little.
You see it all the time; not fish and chips but; Line caught, beer battered haddock served with hand cut local shards of pink firapple (chips) and a puree of snow peas with mint dressing…FUCK OFF!
Meantime even if we believe any of it, we are just being served frozen crap most of the time and even if it was fresh, line caught, organic or whatever other description turns you on…its just way over the top and ridiculous.
We are becoming a hemisphere of food voyeurs, continually being force fed celebrity chef ideas and being told how we need to be better cooks or we are failing our children somehow.
Meantime, the people of the world who have something worth listening to in this respect i.e. the people of the east, in particular the Japanese and Chinese where there are traditionally low incidences of heart disease, cancer and depression are now themselves succumbing to this nonsense.
On a trip to Hong Kong some years ago, my first “treat” was to be taken directly to McDonald’s for breakfast!!
In Masanobu Fukuoka’s book “The One Straw Revolution” the lack of fuss about food is remarkable. The attention to nutrition meantime is totally absorbing. The diet of brown rice, vegetables and little else wouldn’t light many fires here, but to read of his complete mindfulness, peace and contentment is a joy and he linked it very closely to the food that he grew and ate. He indeed filled all of his time between meals very constructively and we can learn a lot from him if we care to listen.
But is this obsession just the latest in a battery of diversions that modern people slide into to take away the almost tangible pain and angst ridden regret of getting on the bloody train again today to go to the same old shitty job?
From the very beginning of puritanical capitalism when previously happy but poor, country dwelling (and simple eating) souls sold themselves as wage slaves to the asset rich elite to go and die young in mills and mines, right up to the present day, Reggie Perrins throughout the western world have wondered about life and what it is actually all about; surely not this. Surely not another mind numbing day at whatever your own Sunshine Desserts is?
It still reviles me to hear young, 20 something, newly qualified teachers and other would be civil servants gripe and moan on the telly about the lack of jobs and the fact that their pensions aren’t going to sustain them in later life unless the government does something about it.
Grasp the nettle now, don’t rely on a bunch of over paid, over privileged thinly disguised mill and mine owners to help you. Grasp the locus of control, live internally, don’t expect big brother to save you or even to give a damn about you.
The lack of teaching jobs and the collapse of public sector pensions is the biggest opportunity for mass happiness in a generation. Forget the head full of facts and the folder full of qualifications you have achieved, get on with doing what makes you feel good and be free.
So you have a choice tonight.
On the way home you can drop into M&S for another £10 Happy Meal complete with mass produced wine, fondant potatoes with a reduction of gold, frankincense and myrrh and curl up on the sofa with Masterchef. Or maybe Jamie, Nigella or Gordon can take your mind off tomorrow long enough for the free merlot to kick in…
…or, you can make a deal with yourself to live a real life, take time to look at clouds and stars, cook real food, light a real fire, touch real stuff and create beautiful things. Life is short and there are no guarantees that it won’t be very short indeed.
This isn’t just any life. This is your personal, hand crafted existence with an organically grown, hand picked by virgins, morello cherry on the top. Do something you love.
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