It’s easy to judge and strangely comforting to be judged…at least if the judgement is considered positive, but how often are apparently positive judgements, really poisoned chalices that trick us into conforming with the judger’s point of view? How often too are the judgers also victims of this same big pyramid scheme that ties us to employment, consumerism (as anaesthesia) and the whole big capitalist machine?
We might be reaching a turning point however, as more parents unschool their kids and more kids grow up absorbing their freedom loving parents’ values, with no need for permission to do their own thing. This was thumped into me recently when my 12 year old daughter had a guitar exam initiated by a teacher at school. I was amazed at her lack of nerves and even bigger lack of care about the whole process. She’s a genius on guitar, way ahead of where I could ever dream of reaching on the instrument already. The really deep part of this is that she seemed to understand who needed the judgement of this exam most urgently…yes…her teacher at school. She couldn’t have cared less and of course passed with a score in the 90’s and with distinction. I am inspired by her and hopeful that she keeps it up…the shunning of judgement that is…and the guitar.
The trouble with exams and their apparently valuable rewards like degrees and certificates and diplomas is that they aren’t what they seem. Who are the examiners, the judges? What right do they or we have to judge anyone? They are awarded the right by the previous generation of judges and if you follow that trail, you get back to the original capitalists and beyond that the feudal lords…yes it’s about control and conformity of course…
…and it’s a form of striving, of clinging, of looking for the elusive pat on the back. We seek judgement subconsciously. It’s no wonder of course…it’s bred into us by unsuspecting parents from birth. The desire to judge and be judged is damaging and makes us unlikely to ever experience real freedom or at least makes us feel guilty about it when we do.
Being comfortable in your own skin and being impervious to judgement go hand in hand. Allowing yourself to be judged by others, to be pre approved as it were, is just playing along with the game and keeping you where they want you. Judging others in whatever capacity is part of the same problem. Freedom lies beyond judgement. Don’t judge; don’t be judged.